Ginnsel'sJournal.

I’m all alone....

I’m surrounded by people yet I’m alone

I talk, smile, laugh yet I can’t help but miss the warmth that ought to be surrounding these emotions.

I’m okay, am fine, am happy, I say all day long, maybe because I think if I say it for long enough I will start to believe it.

I feel numb, like an empty space with nothing to ground me, to keep the dark thoughts away, my demons away

so am sorry mother if I don’t do anything at home,,am sorry if I seem to cry for no reason,, am sorry if I seem so lifeless and act so useless because the truth is I’m drowning in a sea of tranquility and distress that no one can save me from,

so if you find me lying limply in a pool of my own blood please don’t blame yourself,

It’s my fault not yours that I don’t want to continue any longer it’s my fault I am not strong enough it’s my fault I’m not good enough and it was my choice to end it all, to go away and find peace like no other, so thank you for all you have done for me

I love you

and i am truly sorry.

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